Friends Come In Many Shapes and Sizes…But I Don’t Have Any

girlfriends“Do you wanna build a snowman?” No answer, no answer, no answer. “OK fine.” Turn back, head hanging down slowly walk away. Sorry for the reference to Frozen but it seemed fitting in talking about finding new friends especially in a foreign country. Two months ago my husband and I finally decided to settle down after being on the road for eighteen months. Now it’s time to begin building a life.

We ended up planting ourselves in Poland, of all places, for a number of reasons. Poland for many has immediate images of being a dark and dreary place with women dressed in black, with sad faces, scarves on their heads tied under their chins where they scuff their feet when they walk.

That is so far from the truth. Today, Poland is a vibrant country full of color, design, movement and prosperity. And yet amidst all of this and deciding to call this country my home for at least the next few years I must begin to find new friends.

Oh sure, I’ve done that before when we moved from Maine to Phoenix and then from Phoenix to California. But moving to a country with a language full of consonants where all I can really say is “hi, bye, kiss me and I love you” is at best frightening.

Yes it is true that most people speak English and this is certainly true for the younger generation. But let’s face it people I am not the younger generation, no matter what my mind would like me to believe.

So just how do you meet people now a days? “Do you wanna build a snowman?” seems an appropriate question. How do you fill the gap of missing your own family, friends, daughters and grand children so immensely that at times it feels as though someone has ripped your heart out of your body and trampled on it, yet I am here and they are in the states thousands of miles across the Atlantic.

Girl friends are an important part of any woman’s life. For me it is magnified by being totally out of my element even thought it is self inflicted.

What’s a girl to do? I get on Facebook and LinkedIn and begin stalking people. Well not stalking them in the bad kind of way, at least that is what I tell myself, but stalking people that may have a similar background, women that I think may be like minded. I then take a shot of vodka or two and send messages, emails or make a random phone call and pray they speak English.

It goes something like this: “Hi my name is Merry Lynch. My husband and I recently moved to Warsaw from sunny California. Although I’m thrilled to be here and am thoroughly enjoying all that Poland has to offer, I am missing terribly my girlfriends. It seems we may have some things in common. Are you at all interested in meeting for coffee?”

I am a freaking mess. Several women said “yes” and on Friday I am meeting my first victim. I am sooooo having an out of body experience. Am I crazy? Can anyone out there relate? Who am I kidding “Do you wanna build a snowman?” This ladies and gentlemen is scaring the pants off me (to put it nicely). I’m kind of proud of myself while at the same time pissed off for being so brave, and then feeling inquisitive about meeting women that would answer and agree to such a plea.

So for all of you girl friends out there, be sure to give your friend and extra special hug today. You never know when someone might really need one and right now is that time for me.

Hopelessly trying to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

originally posted September 15, 2015 (

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