A few days ago, I was hanging out with some friends during a re-enactment of a Polish battle. It was a beautiful day and we were sitting on a mountain top overlooking the Vistula River in Poland. Other than the fact that we were sitting by a castle from the 15th century it was a day that could have taken place just about anywhere. The weather was warm, the sun glistening over the river, the birds chirping and flying overhead.
Within our view were the remnants of the castle. We listened as someone told the story of what happened here and the lives that were lost and the victories that were won. I have visited many places like this around Europe and my thoughts are always the same. I wonder about the fear that the people felt when the invaders came.
Our conversation went on to discuss how we treat one another and if it is any different than how it was 500 or even 1000 years ago? How the use of our words can hurt others as well as ourselves. And then what are the words we use to describe ourselves when we look in the mirror (for instance), or when we see a beggar on the street, someone behaving what we deem inappropriate, or when we want something that someone else has (jealousy). Then there are the words or thoughts that invoke fear or hatred, either toward our self or someone else.
We talked about how the people in the castle stronghold lived and how their lives would have ended. It was kind of a gruesome topic but an interesting one none the less considering the state of the world right now. I mentioned that for me, death by fire would be an awful way to end my life. One of the young women mentioned she had read a study saying that death by fire was the most painful thing for a human to experience and the second most painful thing was childbirth.
Whoa! Hold everything! I spent many years as a Birth Doula. My job other than making the laboring woman comfortable is to teach her to release those negative stories that other women have told, and to release the fear. Instead I teach them to re-frame their focus and attention on the miracle that is childbirth, yet still many women choose to speak only about the fear during this event.
This young woman is already fearful of childbirth because of an article she read and believed, and from over hearing stories from other women without ever having a conversation about childbirth with someone or better yet a professional. This is how it happens. We believe the words. Once we believe the sub-conscious or amygdala says “ok, I’m with you. Childbirth is the most painful thing you will experience other than death by fire.” This young woman is not even out of high school yet and already she is fearful.
Our words are powerful, that is why I wrote this e-book called Your Daily Dose. You can download here for FREE until July 1, 2017 ($8.99 value). Words are mightier than the sword and can hurt someone much deeper and longer lasting. Change your focus, choose your words, your sub-conscious and those around are listening. Your Daily Dose delves into how to create new positive neuro pathways that can alter your otherwise auto-pilot life. If you do the work, you will (guaranteed) begin to lay the foundation for a life you will love to lead.
Now let me be perfectly clear…you never once heard me mention this changing of our negative thoughts was going to be easy, did you? No! Because it is not, and therefore that is why most just use this information in the Your Daily Dose download as a “shelf-help book” instead of putting it into action. This e-book is jammed packed with information, pdf downloads, instructions, everything you need to begin to change these ingrained patterns.
A great quote to remember while starting on your journey is “you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time.” I use this quote as an elephant is big-would you agree? Well so is your journey into changing habits and negative self-talk. This is stuff we have done for most of our lives. So, take it slow, notice how quickly these negative words pop into your head. It is in the noticing where the change can begin.
Once you notice a negative thought pop up, thank it for protecting you (that is its job after all) and change the wording in that thought. For instance you are attempting something new (like changing your morning routine): “Merry, you’re so stupid” Change to: “Merry, I am so proud of you for learning new things. This might take a while but I support this change.” This may sound really silly to you however the sub-conscious is listening. The more positive thoughts and images you feed it, the more you will get in return.
Do the same thing with the e-book Your Daily Dose. Take one bite at a time. The book is jammed packed, so begin with what interests you and work it baby, work it. Work it so that it becomes second nature, whether it is a positive affirmation, a morning meditation, a positive visualization of your day or any one of the other topics addressed in this book.
Remember…one bite at a time. You can do this. Stop the negative self-talk, begin TODAY.