A few weeks ago I experienced a minor set-back. If you are like me, these set-backs, delays or derailments can take us off course leaving us frustrated, alone and feeling just plain lousy about life.
I show up pissed off at myself (because generally I did something that was not in alignment with myself) or I become scared and anxious because I don’t understand what is happening. This time, after a visit to the doctor and some internet research I was better able to get a grip on what was happening but then I became angry and went down the never ending pity party rabbit hole of “oh, why is this happening,” “poor me, poor me.”
Until I realized that all this negative energy certainly wasn’t going to make anything better I then gave myself a virtual slap in the head and began to work on my attitude and self-care.
After all this is a minor setback and when it is all said and done minor ain’t so bad. There is afterall the minor leagues, that is a step before greatness to the majors. Then there is the minor cut which is a small cut or bruise and of course the minor set-back which can take things a little off course.
Certainly this isn’t the first delay or the first derailment I have experienced in my life and thriving and surviving with a chronic illness comes with ups and downs. I know that..but still..it gets to me sometimes.
Living with a chronic illness such as Lyme Disease brings about unexpected surprises at a moments glance. Being caught off guard on anything in life, if not understood, can send us spiraling out of control. Having the where with all to notice it and then having the courage to stop the spiral will make all the difference.
Madame Curie once said that “life is not to be feared, just understood.” OK, so certainly I nor anyone else on the planet totally has a handle on all of the effects that Disease and its co-infections has on the body but what I do know is that my body is altered and I need to embrace that and not push against it.
As I was walking down the street, thankfully with my husband, a very large eye floater obstructed my view. What I really want to say is this giant, green slimy thing that looked like something out of a science fiction movie flew in front of my vision and scared the shit out of me. I felt like I was being attacked by something inside my body (which truth be known about Lyme Disease, that was exactly what was happening).
Thankfully we were able to get a doctor appointment with an eye specialist that day to uncover what was going on.
Lyme Disease delivers many things in varying ways to different people (hence the reason it is difficult to diagnose and treat). My jolt of the day was a floater. I am told floaters are known to occur naturally as we age and those of us with Lyme Disease experience them more often and earlier in age. A floater can appear as a dark spot or line that moves about in your line of vision. The floater that I experienced was on a much larger scale and reminded me of something out of the movie Ghost Busters (I know, I’m dating myself here).
On the big scheme of things the concern is a retinal tear that can a cause blindness, another side effect of Lyme Disease. I am attempting to see this (no pun intended) as a minor set-back in order to stop the negative voices.
Anyway, after being placed on bed rest, no exercise, no lifting, not getting excited or emotional for several weeks the tests and an ultra sound of my eye have found no further damage. This is a blessing.
What do I do from here? Take care of myself, get plenty of sleep, yoga, eat a non gluten, no sugar, no yeast diet, meditate, be grateful and share my experiences. I CAN do that! I have the right to choose.
Minor right? That is how I choose to see it. What do you do about minor set-backs?