We all have them and come across them many times throughout our daily life. Some are bigger than others, some more important but none-the-less they have to be made. Often we might find ourselves just going along with the status quo so as to not ruffle the feathers (so to speak) other times we may remain silent out of fear, embarrassment or shame. Some times we may just go along with the crowd because frankly we don’t give a damn if we eat Italian or Greek food tonight.

No matter what, choices effect everything we do. Many times, I find in working with individuals that they have not defined who they are and what they stand for. You have got to define who you are otherwise your life will be spent sitting on the fence just going with the flow of whoever pushes or drags you along. To me that is just a sad way to live life.

Designing a personal mission or values statement will allow you to make better choices because of what you value and who you are at your core belief system. Drawing a line in the sand (if you will) of your likes, dislikes or boundaries you essentially begin to hold yourself accountable to these truths. Thus laying the foundation for living a life of confidence.

In Caroline Myss’s TEDX talk about choices, she mentions being in integrity with your word. Yet if you have not defined what you stand for then you will struggle with making choices that resonate with you as a person.

Take a few moments to begin defining who you are by answering these questions:

  • What does true happiness mean to me? Describe a moment in time where I experienced true happiness and what did this moment represent for me?
  • What am I most proud of doing or accomplishing?
  • What make me angry?
  • What do I like to do when I am not working or taking care of the children?
  • What do I love the most to do?
  • Whom do I admire most?
  • What trait does that person have that I would like more of in my life?
  • When am I at my best?
  • Describe my ideal self.

Take the time to dream, feel what each question has to offer. Write short answers or long, this is for your eyes only. Some questions may have multiple answers. Write them all down but circle the one that has the most positive emotion attached to it. These questions will help you to begin to define who you are and what you stand for. Over time, I will dig deeper on this topic so you will develop your personal values statement.

It is said that the average adult makes approximately 35,000 decisions in any given day. Wouldn’t it be great if more of these decisions or choices were made from a place of knowing or acknowledging who you are? Choices, we all have to make them, put aside the anxiety, the what if’s, the he/she isn’t going to like me; and get on with life. Take a deep breath, begin to answer the questions above and start your journey of self-discovery.

Until next time…

Merry Lynch




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