My heart bled…or lessons from a 4 year old

cammieMany of you know in 2013 my husband and I made a decision to live overseas. There were so many things to think about and get done in order to make this happen. Not to mention of course the emotional struggle that went on inside my head of moving away from my daughters, grandchildren and other family members and dear friends.

We attempted this move ten years prior but after a few short months I could not stand the pull of my heart strings and being away from my girls. This time I swore it would be different, only this time grand children were involved.

In my mind, I could pull this off. After all there is technology now that allows us to connect with people around the globe face to face any time of day or night. So how bad could it be? Everyone is happy and healthy so all should be right with the world in my moving half way around the globe, right?

We made this move when my youngest grandchild was just two years old. I kept telling myself, “she’ll be okay without me,” and I will be back to visit several times a year so just how bad could this be? Until the day I received that frightful phone call and my life tumbled out of control.

My daughter called as she was putting the children to bed. The little one got on the phone, a sweet little girl. We were video chatting so I could see her and her brother. I mentioned how lovely her nightgown was and asked her about it.

She thought for a minute or two with her eyes gazing away and then looked back into the screen and said “my Granny bought it for me. The one that has a house because you live at the airport.” Even now as I recall these words I get all welled up in my throat and my eyes water.

I realized then, that I don’t have a “home” for her to go to. A place where Grammy lives that she comes to stay for the summer or during school vacations. What kind of Grandmother am I? All the movies portray a Grandmother in a big old home with a wraparound porch and all I have is a suitcase with a plane ticket for my next journey. What kind of traditions am I showing her? What will she think of me when she grows up? How could I do this to her?

It seemed like forever before I could come to my senses. I was floating around in this sea of negative thinking. I wanted everything to stop but I didn’t seem to have the power and yet this little girl was looking at me on a screen from the other side of the world. Just then when my heart stopped pounding and my feet landed on the ground again I realized just who I was.

I AM the Grammy that lives at the airport. I will be the one to show her the world. I will be the one that will lay the foundation for her to be inquisitive about other races, religions, languages and food. This Grammy will show her the world and share experiences that will last a lifetime, and long after I am gone this little girl will have memories to carry her through the good times and bad.

She will learn, from her Grammy that lives at the airport, that nothing is impossible. She will learn to laugh at herself, to think well of herself not in loud words but in great deeds, to be as enthusiastic about the success of others as she is of her own, to be filled with light and love. And most of all to know that she is deserving of all things great.

So, this Grammy that lives at the airport will forever be grateful for this valuable lesson she learned from a four year old. We all have gifts to share, and this is mine.

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