The saying “jump and the net will appear” seems to come at the most inopportune times for me. I have a dream or a goal, a vision for something that I would like to do or experience and bam the cycle begins and totally busts a bubble in my dream. It’s like being pushed off the top of the mountain when playing “king of the mountain” as a kid. Except now as an adult the stakes are higher, now I have a reputation to uphold (or at least I think I do), or I could look like a fool if I fail, or I could just plain be totally and utterly embarrassed. Whatever “it” is that I believe could go wrong if in fact I do “jump” are mainly all ridiculous notions that seem to pop up out of nowhere.
Mostly I find for me these negative notions come up when I am trying to go it alone. After all, if I tell someone of my dreams then I might actually have to do something about it. Or, whomever I tell may cut me down at the knees and tell every reason why I can’t do or can’t achieve what I dream I can. So, I keep my mouth shut, I keep my dream inside me and tell no one. Now I am definitely not jumping, what a silly idea, I’ll stay put.
Do you struggle asking for help? Have you ever felt that if you could just find or talk to the right person or get the right information a door could open for you? Has the thought ever gone through your mind that the person you need help from either wouldn’t give it to you or wouldn’t want to help you?
Knowing that over 87% of the thoughts that go through our mind on a daily basis are negative it only makes sense that we could experience negative thoughts when needing or wanting to reach out to someone or do something different.
My experience is no different, my struggles may be just the same as yours; the goal however is to notice the feeling, the struggle, the emotion and move through it seeking those people that are waiting to help. You just need to ask….and the net will appear.
In 2003, after changing my lifestyle from a successful business owner in Portland, Maine to a psychotic resident of the valley of the sun in Phoenix, Arizona I felt as though I had lost my place in life. I knew there was something more in me that I needed to express, that I needed to share with the world, that I had a bigger calling in life but I didn’t know where to begin. I was in total confusion.
I kept having flashbacks of being with my father, who was a vivacious leader, doctor, and motivator but he passed away in 1980. Who was I going to turn to, who is it that could unlock the greatness within me.
As a little girl, my father would take me to motivational seminars. By the time I was ten years old I had seen Dr. Wayne Dyer, Charles “Tremendous” Jones, and Zig Ziglar. The thought came through my head that I needed to speak with Charles “Tremendous” Jones and then the thoughts quickly went to: why would he speak with me, what would I say, and I would probably sound ridiculous. But my inner struggle continued and I kept seeing his face.
One day after googling Tremendous Jones, I picked up the phone still not sure what to say and dialed his number. Thankfully he did not answer the phone so I left a message with my name and number stating that I just wanted to touch bases with him. Knowing that he would never call back, I felt relieved that I could check that off my list until two hours later when my phone rang.
The person on the other end of the phone said: “Hello Merry Lynch, this is “Tremendous” Jones. What can I do for you today.” Sweat immediately began to pour from my body, my mouth became dry as cotton, my head went blank. All I could say was “I can’t believe I’m hearing your voice.”
For some reason, I had a need to see his face, to be with him, to speak directly to him so I made up an excuse. I told him that I was going to be in Pennsylvania (which I was not) in two weeks (where he lived) and that I would like to take him out to lunch. There…I said it…now I waited for what seemed like an eternity for him to answer.
“Well Merry Lynch, no, you can not take me out to lunch.” See I knew it, is where my mind went and then “but you can come by my office and read to me. Shall we say two weeks from today at noon?” My head spinning and my heart pounding, I of course agreed.
The flight reservations where made and off I flew; excited, anxiety ridden, and feeling very courageous all at the same time. I arrived at his office just as planned and waited anxiously for “Tremendous” to appear. Just then the tall, charming man now with an eye patch covering one eye came bursting through the door to shake my hand. “Tremendous” escorted me into his office and we sat down.
We chatted for a few minutes about how I knew of him and then he asked me again, “what can I do for you Merry Lynch?” and I began to tremble. I told him that I was lost, that I knew there was something that I was supposed to be doing but I had no idea how to begin or what it was.
He told me that he had lost his sight in one eye and had trouble reading. His office had a library filled from floor to ceiling with books along one wall. He asked me to walk over to the library wall and without looking select a book and let it open in my hands. I did as he asked.
He then asked me to read to him, both the left and right page and then close the book. Immediately my lips began to tremble and tears ran down my face as I began to read. What a crazy reaction, what is happening to me. The man just asked me to read for heaven’s sake…but hard as I tried the tears kept coming.
I read the pages as “Tremendous” had asked and closed the book. He looked up at me and thanked me for reading to him and then he said, “there is your answer Merry Lynch.”
On no, I didn’t understand. I didn’t get the answer, how stupid of me. He got the answer and I didn’t. I mustered up the courage and replied, “I’m sorry Mr. Jones, I was so nervous that I had no idea what I was reading. Please tell me the answer.”
He told me to take a look at the title of the book. I told him that the title was “100 Best Bible Verses for Leaders.” He replied back, “see there is your answer.” On no, I still don’t get it. I said, “Mr. Jones, what answer?” His response was simple. I wanted it to be complicated. I wanted it to be earth shaking, huge, monumental so that there was no way I could possibly achieve it and then I could just go back to my life and let it be.
But now there was no turning back. The “jump” that I made in contacting him changed my life forever. The net did appear yet I was trying to do the back stroke and take the easy way out. I think we all can attest that taking the easy the way out doesn’t work either.
Tremendous Jones’ simple answer was, “you are a leader Merry Lynch, the world is just waiting for you stand up and lead. There are people out there that need you.” I sobbed, yup, couldn’t stop the faucet of tears. I knew it all along. I spent my life in leadership positions. I had gone through all types of trainings and mentor programs. I knew people liked to follow me, work for me, be with me. I had certifications and degrees in the study of people and yet the task seemed overwhelming to me.
Thankfully Mr. Jones brought me back down to Earth, talking me off the ledge. We talked about leadership, about showing up for others, about lending a hand and I felt a sense of accomplishment and calm. I felt in my heart of hearts that I can do this. I jumped and the net did appear. Charles “Tremendous” Jones was my net.
Shortly after this we parted and “Tremendous” passed away several short months later. I was the last person he saw in his office. My net appeared because I sought it out, I asked for it, I believed in it.
Don’t ever let those dreams be misguided by nay sayers or negative thinking. The gifts you have to share with the world are not about you, your gifts however are about serving. The gifts you have are like no other. You are the only one that can possess these gifts. You are the only one that can deliver the message in your own unique way. And yes, the world is waiting for you.
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Merry’s knowledge, patience and advice helped me get back in the drivers seat of my life. Working with Merry was educational and fulfilling. -Bridgette Vermette
It’s been a fascinating journey into myself. -Justyna Janiszewska
Merry’s passion makes all this more interesting. -Dorota Dabrowski
A new year, a new you! Join me and other like minded women for Core Confidence in Portland, Maine on January 6, 2018. No excuses, no negative self-talk…learn to love your big beautiful self again and build the life of your dreams.
- Are you paralyzed by fear and self-limiting beliefs?
- Do you have dreams but don’t know where to begin?
- “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t” is what you say to yourself
- Is the idea of security keeping you stuck
- What will others think
If you haven’t already done so, head on over to the How To Be Merry Private Facebook Group to connect with other like minded women on a journey to build a life you will love to lead @howtobemerry.
I can’t wait to meet you!